One of EA's teasers that always seems to captivate people is the players' ratings:
http://sports.espn.go.com/videogames/news/story?id=3450647
Only one player has ever received a 100 rating in any category: Devin Hester, Speed, Madden 08. It's what every heap of polygons in the game aspire to have. This year, EA has let the genie out of the bottle, so to speak, and given an additional 7 players 100 stat ratings. Most Make sense, like Peyton Manning's Field Awareness, or Randy Moss's Jumping ability. One member of the 100 Club, however, seems out of place, and shows a little bit of what's wrong with how EA changes the game from season to season
Wayne Hunter, backup Right Tackle on the New York Jets, has a Morale rating of 100. Who is Wayne Hunter? Well, it took me a little while to figure that out, too. Mr. Hunter was drafted out of Hawaii by the Seahawks in the third round of the 2003 NFL Draft. Since then, he has been on 3 teams, and appeared in just as few games in 5 years. Those aren't starts, those are appearances! He could have been in there for five seconds. He sat out all of the 2007 season. There are numerous players ahead of him on the Jets depth chart.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
How does he receive a 90 rating, let alone 100, in anything? I mean, I guess he is getting payed a couple hundred thousand dollars for having done absolutely nothing in his career, but still. On top of that, the player with the worst overall rating, Bills OT Demetrius Bell with a whopping 54 overall, has a 95 morale rating. Don't you usually feel down when you suck that bad?
The only thing that consoles me is the idea that EA realizes Morale does next to nothing in the game, and they made it so ridiculous this year so that next season they can claim that they fixed the morale stat as one of their yearly upgrades, so that it looks like something is different with the game other than updated rosters.
This got me thinking: what are some other bullshit categories EA could fall over themselves to give 100 ratings in?
Getting Away With Murder (Literally)
Leonard Little, DE, Rams
When you get away with killing an innocent women while your drunk-driving your rookie season, you attribute it to luck. When you get arrested again and fail three breathalyzer tests, it's a skill. Give this man a 100!
Party Shot Creativity
Matt Leinart, QB, Cardinals
Playing two-hand touch with hot under aged girls in your hot tub just isn't as fun as it used to be. And let's face it, The Game killed the whole downing a bottle of liquor thing. What's a man-boy to do? How about have your shirtless friend hold a Grey Goose bottle at his crotch while you suck it down? I haven't seen such homoerotic partying since the "Baby Bird" shot in the pilot for Gay Robot. Put another 100 on the board!
Everyday Is Halloween
Adalius Thomas, LB, Patriots
If you've watched Monday Night Football the past two seasons, you might have noticed a player rocking sunglasses in his intro. That's Adalius Thomas. He got into a car accident as a teenager and has a scar the size of my hand across the middle of his face. Adalius, you just stole millions of dollars from the Patriots, you can afford a little cosmetic surgery. You're not Harry Potter, you're not Corey Hart and this is not 1986.
Bottle Popping aka Making Stupid Decisions At Clubs
Javon Walker, WR, Oakland
Javon Walker's best friend and teammate, Darrent Williams, died in his arms (allegedly) in retaliation for getting into a champagne-spraying contest with gang members in a Denver bar. Walker keeps a shirt stained with Williams blood in his closet to remind him of the incident, and the consequences of one's actions. So what does Javon do in Las Vegas? Get into a champagne spraying fight that (allegedly) went wrong with Floyd Mayweather's crew. The way his career is going, Javon might have been smarter to save those bottles to pay his medical bills when he inevitably hurts his knee doing something stupid again. If there was a score above 100, I'd have to give it to him.
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