Monday, April 21, 2008

"Aww Man! These N***** Still Kissing..."

There's a storm cloud gathering over hip-hop: It's pink, sporting epilettes, and (sort of) naming names.

Ever heard of Terrance Dean? He’s worked for MTV, written a few books, and bedded a few famous men in his day: straight mothafuckin o-g style! And apparently, Mr. Dean never learned that it's impolite to felch and tell.





So, everybody got hype for that Wendy Williams tell-all, but they clearly weren’t Money Makin’ Brothers, cause if they were they’d remember 20k Money Makin’ Rule #105: “Don’t believe shit that bubble-eyed bitch says!”



Dean says he isn’t going to name names, but that it will be clear who he will be referring to…which is basically the same thing. I think we’ll all know who he’s talking about when “S.E.X.” and “Gay-Z” pay a visit to his poop-shoot for the first time.



Why should hip-hop be surprised, or really even care? How many times has your favorite rapper spit 16 bars about going to prison, that prison time was easy, or even that they liked it? As Cam put it "18 months -please- that aint facin time Im stressed anyway - need it for vaction time!" Has he never seen Oz? I'm gonna be real up-front: dudes don't enjoy prison unless they: a.) can't take care of themselves adequately in free society b.) like hiding contraband up their man-hole, or c.) aren't bothered by the constant threat of spending happy hour on a Provincetown Barstool (shout out to P-Town!).



Hip-hop culture puts an emphasis on keeping up with and setting new trends in fashion. Flamboyance is praised. The strength that comes from strong bonds with similarly-aged and flashy young men is emphasized. All steretotypes of gay men, be they right or wrong.



Of course, we won’t know until the book comes out, or Dean does his first interview on Hot 97.7. So, in the spirit of the death pool, let’s call our shots. Which rappers do YOU think will boogie out of the closet and why? I’ll be the first to say it: Weezy and Birdman have been suspect for years. What with the kissing, Lil Wayne’s penchant for saying how much he loves anal sex and crediting Baby for it, just…everything…. pause- He's pretty much been throwing it in our faces for a while now "Weezy f-cking Baby, please say the baby" sounds like homosexual jargon if you ask me.

Ike's Take:

There is no question in my mind that at least some of rap's most prominent artists are gay. I don't think there's really a debate there, I mean statistically it's a very plausible assumption to make. And honestly? I don't really care. So you're a gay rapper... so what? I think I speak for everyone here at 20K when I say there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. Not that we have nothing against it, but flatly there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you keep spitting that hot fire that keeps my neck sore from knocking my head so much (I'm sorry, but pause) who cares what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom. And besides, I mean let's be real... we all already knew that DMX loves the man-booty-hole: "Cuz dog! Once you hear that *ARRFF ARRFF* I'm coming!!"

--EDIT--

Actually I'd like to make one change to my previous statement. I do have a HUGE issue with gay ass rappers fronting like they're not, and filling their lyrics with homophobic nonsense and hyper masculine he-man bullshit. Lil' Wayne, STOP! You kiss another man, on the mouth openly and repeatedly. I'm tired of hearing the phrase "no homo" on every other verse you write. Especially on Lollipop. What the hell is wrong with you?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Lollipop" is perhaps the most egregiously subliminal while simultaneously overt man on man promoting propaganda ever put to music. It far surpasses "What What (in the Butt)" in that portraying sexuality artistically is one thing, but Lil Wayne mixes explicit sexual lyrics with outlandish narcissism to create something I can only cite as "O'D gay". Initial lyrical analysis might lead to you argue with this ascription but at second glance we realize this is not a song about a "shawty" but rather this is a song about lilwaynes feelings towards himself.

"ok lil mama had a swagga like mine
she even wear her hair down her back like mine"

And while he steadfastly establishes the lollipop itself as a phallic symbol-specifically his own penis-he continues to relentlessly lick it up in the corresponding music video, this SWEET HARd candy. if this isnt't lil wayne proclaiming "not only do i love penis, i take advanced yoga classes so i can get at my own" I don't know what is.
this is not an issue of outting a homosexual. I just want our 20,000 money makers to understand that the issue with gay rappers isnt merely homosexuality, but moreso its the fear that hiphop swagger and urban creativity compounded with homosexuality is too powerful of a force. Its like BET and Bravo joining forces to make Top Chef: Roscoes Chicken n Waffles or Project Run that nigga sneakers, and get out the Way. smh

Anonymous said...

"Project Run that nigga sneakers, and get out the Way."

hahahahahha